
It was bad. Not the worst I’ve seen, but bad. Walls were ripped open – copper pipe cut away from the kitchen, laundry room and bathrooms. Holes in the ceiling gave the thief easy access to the air handler. Of course, the A/C unit was gone, along with the hot water heater and ceiling fans. Attic insulation littered the floor like dirty snow on a busy city street.
The house is what you’d call an “investor special”. However, you’d never know it by reading the MLS Plano (that’s fancy way of saying the information sheet you get from a Realtor).
The public remarks section read:
Three bedroom house with two baths and three car garage. Covered patio in the back yard makes a great retreat. Spacious floorplan. This bank owned property is sold AS-IS with no SPDS or CLUE report. Bank of America pre- approval must be submitted with all offers.
Sounds nice right? Amazing it’s still on the market after 62 days. The list price was $70,800. In good condition could easily resell for $100,000. So I called the Realtor prior to driving 40 miles from my office in Gilbert to Avondale to see the property. No offers he said.
I should have known I was dealing with a knuckle-head when I got to the house. It had 4 bedrooms, not 3. That’s kind of a big deal. And there was no way this skeleton of a home would ever qualify for traditional bank financing through Bank of America. Only a cash buyer could touch this deal.
That’s two strikes against the Realtor.
Still, for the right price this was a money maker. I called the Realtor again yesterday at 5:17p. Any offers I asked? No offers he said. My contract went out to him 20 minutes later – $48,000 closing in two weeks. A little low I’ll admit but this house could easily need $25,000 in repairs. Cooper is expensive. And difficult to install when it’s been ripped out of the walls.
This morning at 10:30a I get a call from his “assistant”. Apparently the big shot was too important to call me directly. Have you been to the property she asked? Yes, I have. She goes on to explain that they now have 5 offers on the house. She wanted to know if this offer was my “highest and best”.
Really? That’s funny I said. After 62 days on the market 5 offers come in less than 17 hours? Unbelievable.
She told me that I didn’t understand the market. That’s strike three.
Mr. Realtor, don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining. Your extremely poor attempt to create an artificial bidding war may work on some poor unsuspecting retail buyer’s agent but it won’t work on me.
If you really do have 5 offers then fine. But you must have known when I called you yesterday that other offers were on the way. Show some professional courtesy and let me know. With this information I would have elected not to inspect the house, or write an offer. I want to be the seller’s ONLY option.
Realtors like you hurt the market. Poorly written, ambiguous listings and sloppy customer service will come back to haunt you. The banks will eventually run out of REO listings. Your phone will stop ringing. The money will stop coming in. And just like that – GAME OVER.